~The truth~ by Hannah Garcia
“Don’t leave me,” I cried, “aren’t I enough? Do you really have to do this?” I was sobbing by now, my brother Zack holding me tight. “There are plenty of others, others who can serve and go to war and fight, you don’t have to do this Zack, you don’t have to die.” My heart was beating fast and I could barely breathe over my sobs.
“Annabelle, love, I’m not leaving you, I’m going for me, for my country, for my friends, for my family, for you. I need to do this, it’s one of the few right things I can do.” This was the same powerful argument he had given me again and again in the last three months. That was when he first told us he was enlisting in the Marine Core, the front line of the field in time of war, which is almost always.
“How am I going to cope with this? Deal with even the possibility of losing you? It’s too hard, it’s too much. If you die…”
“If I die someone else doesn’t have to. It means I did something right with my life. You might see it as being stupid and suicide, but for me it’s not. I don’t know how to really explain it but it’s the right thing to do. If there weren’t people who were willing to give their life for someone else’s, what kind of world would we live in? Just greed, and where everyone is for themselves. That’s not the life I want to lead. This is right. That’s all I can say. This is right…”
Being 16 and having your older brother, one of the closest most trusted people in your life go to war is such a scary thought. He has my same dark brown wavy hair and hazel green eyes, the same full lips and decent sized nose. Everyone who knows us has told us that we look almost exactly identical, except the gender and three year age difference. I love him so much. Even the possibility of him dying makes me want to throw up. He is my own flesh and blood. The person who calms our mom down when she is mad at me, which is always. The person that has driven me around for the past three years until I got my license. The one who let me hang out with him and all his “cool” friends. He is the person I know I can call no matter what the problem is and he always is willing to help. The one who has threatened my amazing boyfriend Cory that if ever hurts me physically or breaks my heart that he is NOT afraid to go to prison for a few years. I smiled but it quickly faded, how could I lose him? Zack has been there since I was born; I rely on him and trust him with my life. I would give mine to save him, how could he go and just throw his away?
The next day I woke up to my alarm clock screaming one of my favorite songs at 6:30 am. I jolted up when I realized I was in my own bed, not Zack's where I fell asleep. He must have carried me in here while I was asleep. I was surprisingly alert. Throwing off my covers I walked over to my clock and shut off the alarm. Pulling on Cory’s sweatpants I walked into my bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror.
“Wow, I look horrible,” I whispered to myself. I had bags under my red puffy eyes, my long hair tangled in every which direction. I brushed my teeth and then my hair. Pulling it into a loose knot I washed my face then checked myself out again. Better, I thought. Walking back to my bedroom and grabbing my backpack I took a deep breath. I looked around for my phone and my keys. Ready to face the world I walked down the stairs and was out the door.
Once I got in my car I pulled down the mirror and turned on the little side light. I might feel gross and be going through a lot but I still care about looking good. I put on a layer of cover-up then a tiny bit of blush. Purple eyeliner on top and black on bottom, some mascara and I finished with a touch of lip gloss. With that done in a matter of 7minutes I put my key in the ignition and started my car. As I pulled out of the driveway I was thinking about Zack again. It all seemed like a dream, or nightmare. I know what he was choosing to do with his life was out of my control and it was the right thing to do, serving in the military. It’s even horrible of me to be asking, or should I say begging him not to join. If it wasn’t MY brother enlisting I would probably find it admirable, but I guess that’s how most of the people in my position feel. It’s not even like everyone is leaving me, it’s just one person, but it’s the most important person and that’s why it’s so hard to deal with. I still have Cory, all my friends that I see every day and the ones I only get to see on occasions. I still have most of my family, there are so many people in my life but it’s different. Oh my goodness! I hate life at times; it’s just so freaking confusing! I was so engrossed in my thoughts when my phone ringtone went off because one of my best friends, Melanie texted me I jumped, not expecting it.
Melbear: Can I get a ride to school from you?
Anyboo: Sure I’ll stop by your house in about Five minutes if that works.
Melbear: Works perfectly(: Thanks so much! You’re a lifesaver. I so didn’t want to walk today, it’s like freezing!
Anyboo: I know its crazy cold for spring time in Bend, Oregon.
Melbear: Mhm, so you’re driving and texting? Bad habits my dear.
Anyboo: I know, I know, I should go, ill text you when I’m outside your house okay?
Melbear: You got it, see you then!
Anyboo: Later love(:
Melbear: Bye bye boo(:
Laughing, I shut my phone. See? This won’t be that bad, my friends will stand by me.
When I got home from school that day I was dreading the night. Zack and I were going to go out, who knows where then to the airport where our parents would meet us, to see him off. Oh god, this is it. Walking through the front door and seeing his shoes. Tears brimmed on my eyes but I blinked them away. I have to be strong, I can do this, I can do this repeated in my head as I walked up the stairs to the open door of his bedroom. Leaning against it I looked in on him packing and I smiled
“What’s up loser?” I said jokingly.
“Not much little sis,” he replied, “just packing up the rest of my stuff. This is it.” He stood up, kissed my cheek and walked past me out the door.
“So where did you want to go tonight?” I called after him.
“You choose Anny, I really don’t care where as long as I’m chilling with you” he laughed/yelled back up the stairs.
“Kiss up!” I laughed, “Hmm, I’ll think about it. But we will leave around 4 o’clock okay?”
“Sure thing, whatever is best.”
“I’m going to work on my homework for an hour though so if you need me you can find me in my room.”
“I will be down here enjoying my last hours of being a civilian!”
I heard the television turn on as I turned around, walked into my bedroom and shut the door. I was going to miss this. I sat down on my bed, turned my iPod on and grabbed my geometry book and binder.
Zack and I ended up going to the mall and getting Applebee’s then rented a movie to watch at home. We talked and laughed and had a really good time. It was fun. He insisted on driving my car up to the airport and ignored my protests. But I was happy, strange I know, but he was my brother, we always have fun. I cried at the airport, but I calmed down driving home with a combination of focusing on the road and loud music. I thought about stopping by Cory’s house but decided against it. I wanted to go to sleep.
Days followed by weeks followed by months passed and I got stronger. Cory and I were closer than ever, my friends &hbsp;&hbsp;&hbsp;&hbsp;&hbsp;were amazing, drama is just as big, high school. Zack I talk about once a week if that and we are even closer than before.
About three months after Zack left when I woke up early on Saturday feeling spontaneous.
Getting ready double speed I hopped in my car and started driving over to Cory’s, he’ll love this! I was so proud of myself I had my stereo loud and my sunglasses on, I even looked great. As I pulled into his driveway I saw what looked exactly like Melanie’s new car parked across the street. That’s weird, she lives nowhere near here. Frowning I got out of my car, if it was hers she was probably at one of his neighbors houses. I’ll have to ask her about it at school. Taking the key from under the mat I unlocked the door and walked straight to his room. Trying to be quite to surprise him I started turning the knob slowly then I through open the door.
“supri¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬---” I stopped, she was kissing my boyfriend! And he was kissing her back! Oh my god, this is not happening.
“Melanie? What do you think you’re doing Cory?!”
She jumped up, “Oh my god Annabelle, It’s not what it looks like, I swear!”
“Apparently it is,” I screamed back at her. “Cory, you’re cheating on me with her? How could you guys do this to me?! You,” I pointed at Melanie, “you are supost to be my best friend! And Cory,” I lowered my hand and calmed down as tears filled my eyes, “you are suppost to be my boyfriend,” I whispered my voice barely audible, “I loved you.” Both were speechless. Stronger I said in a firm voice, “You guys disgust me. We are all through. Go. To. Hell!” With that I slammed the door of his room and stormed out of his house hysterical.
“I cannot believe this,” I screamed slamming my hands on the wheel, tears pouring down my face. “Stupid, stupid, stupid...” I said to myself. How could I have been in love with such a gross person? Ugh, I need to get out of here, I started the car and I was driving. I didn’t even know where, I just needed to get out of there.
Before I knew it I was in California, Only two hours in the car I didn’t even notice the time. I needed to call my mom but I wasn’t ready to yet. Getting off the freeway I looked for a Starbucks, I need coffee. I found one within 5minuets, surprise, surprise. When I got inside I ordered a Caramel Frappichino and sat down and sighed. This is a time I need Zack, it’s too hard having him gone. I was about to call him when I shut my phone. No, I don’t need Zack. I can deal with this by myself. He doesn’t need to hear about every single problem I have. And it’s not like I don’t have any other friends. You know what? Melanie wasn’t even my best friend! That is so Christina. I started to laugh, and I mean really laugh. Not little giggles but roaring laughter. I couldn’t stop and people were staring which just made me laugh harder. My life is so screwed up, but so normal. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out. Everyone has problems; no one is even close to perfect. The ones that seem they are the ones that are the most screwed up. And I thought I needed Zack? I will always love him more but wow, I feel stupid. It took me 16 years to get to this. This was not going to be easy, but I can handle it, I am strong enough as a person to handle it. Wow, this is the truth. I am me and I need to figure things out my way or it’s not my life. I called my mom and told her I would be home around 2pm. I took a deep breath and walked out of Starbucks to my car got in and started to drive. I drove off all my anger and stress and sadness and I was just blank. Change can be good, you grow from it. Now I have a chance at a fresh start. This will be good for me. That was my final realization before I got home.
